


Requiem for a Mother

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Keep on Loving You [3]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, F/M, Spoilers: Episode s18e03 Imposter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8241797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: There was enough blame to go all around and he didn’t think Liv should be carrying the brunt.





	

Ed unhooked the leash from Ronin’s collar and he ran into Noah’s room. He was gentle as he climbed up on the bed, didn’t want to wake the boy but wanted to nap with him. Noah was happy to cuddle with the retriever. He hadn’t expected Liv to still be sitting in the living room. She was curled up on the couch with a glass of wine and something on TV with the volume turned low. 

She didn’t look at him and he didn’t look at her. Half the reason he took the dog out an hour earlier than usual was he didn’t want to fight anymore. They'd been fighting on and off for about four days. Every time Ed thought it was over, Liv would bring it back up again. She would push all his buttons and he was proud of himself for not losing too much of his cool. 

The case that had just ended obviously took a lot out of her. A teenager was dead and a criminal was going to get a slap on the wrist and be back on the street. But the couple was arguing over just how much of a criminal he was. There was no doubt in Ed’s mind that Tom Metcalf was a piece of trash. But he also felt that the overzealous tiger moms were part of the problem as well. 

Men like him were preying on women who were trying to cheat the system. That didn’t mean they deserved to be lied to and victimized but Ed thought rape by fraud was a bit of a stretch. If he had said fuck me and pay me $5000 then criminal liability would've been on him, but he hadn’t. Services had been bartered, if a party felt cheated that was a matter for civil court…except that what the women were doing was technical illegal too. Ed didn’t think that two wrongs meant the more disgusting party needed to bear the whole of the blame. 

Liv felt that victims were victims and all of them weren't going to be choir girls or nuns; they didn’t have to be. It was a source of tension that nearly boiled over tonight. Justin Collet’s suicide two days ago hit Liv hard. She was blaming herself for pushing Laura Collet into testifying when none of the other moms wanted to. She was blaming herself for the case bringing shame and embarrassment to their family. 

Ed thought she was being too hard on herself. He was used to that. But this time he didn’t think, right or wrong, that the victim was worth her heartache. The suicide was, definitely, but this woman started a big boulder rolling down a hill and it annihilated the people she loved the most. There was enough blame to go all around and he didn’t think Liv should be carrying the brunt. 

She called him insensitive…she called him a jackass. And then Ed reminded her of Rule #5. For that he was banished to Caitlin’s air mattress in the nursery. He took it like a man; his back took it like a senior citizen. Ed was sleeping in his own bed tonight, and they could argue about it until they fell asleep back to back; he wasn’t giving in.

“I know that you're pissed at me but is there anything you need?” he asked.

“No.” Liv shook her head and sipped her wine.

He wasn’t going to ask her how many glasses she'd had tonight. Firstly, he wasn’t in the mood to throw down. Secondly, Liv had been doing well on coping without wine. Calling her out on it now would be a bad idea.

“Alright, well I'm going to shower.”

“Sure.”

Ed hung the leash on the coat rack and started walking to the bedroom. He was nearly over the threshold when Liv’s voice stopped him. She spoke so softly that he had to struggle to hear her.

“I don’t want to fight anymore. I hate fighting.”

“So do I, baby.” He turned, looked at her back.

“Then why don’t you come over here and hug me?” she asked.

“Well because I didn’t want you to get angrier. Staying at arm’s length these past few days was surely better for all parties involved.”

“Ed…” Liv turned around and looked at him. Her sigh was heavy, like the weight on her shoulders. “Just…”

He nodded, walking quickly back across the room. He sat down on the couch and pulled her into his arms. Liv made the tiniest sound as she wrapped her arms around him. There were words he wanted to say but the silence was better. She couldn’t save everyone, she wasn’t always going to be the hero. And sometimes she was even wrong. But they didn’t need that right now. 

They needed to reconnect, let everything else fall away. The job stripped things from them and this was how they got them back. They both needed to refuel, Liv more so, and forgive each other for things that might have been said out of anger or frustration. All couples disagreed, they even fought, that didn’t mean they had to let the hard feelings linger in the air. Ed’s dad always said that bad feelings stuck to the ceiling and if enough collected they would make the roof cave in. He wasn’t going to let that happen with them.

“You may have been right about some things.” She murmured, burrowing her face into his shoulder.

“So were you.” He stroked her hair. “You fight so hard for everyone and it’s a noble cause. But it takes so much out of you.”

“How do you get there? How do you get to sex for admissions?”

“I have no idea.” Ed shook his head. “I've got four kids, and I know dads don’t have the same kind of pressures as moms a lot of time but that just seems like a pressure that could've been avoided.”

“What if Noah doesn’t get into a good school?” Liv sat up and looked at him. She wiped the tears from her eyes, sighing again.

“He's barely three, Liv, we have time to worry about this. You shouldn’t put that pressure on your shoulders right now and surely not on his.”

“There are waiting lists a mile long for some of these places. Some kids are on them from birth. Some are Noah’s age and can speak foreign languages and play instruments. And Noah is behind.”

“Noah is barely three.” He said it again. “I know he has some speech delays that are keeping him a bit behind his peers. We knew this. So we’re going to work on it. He’ll continue at daycare and we’ll add in the two days a week of speech therapy. 

“We have a great list from the pediatrician; we’ll find a good one for Noah. He's inquisitive, curious, he follows directions, he observes and learns visually…he’ll catch up. And if he has issues that keep him from catching all the way up then we’ll do what we have to to fill in the gaps. Right now he doesn’t need to know Mandarin or how to paint a Monet.”

“Do you think I'm being ridiculous?” Liv asked.

“No, I think you're being a concerned mom. But instead of focusing on him being the best kid in the room we should focus for a little while on him being the best Noah in the room. There are some challenges ahead but we can face them together as a family. This isn't happening because you're not a good mom.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“I know.” Ed caressed her face. “I just want to put that out there. I also want to put out there that my back requests that I sleep in a bed tonight. Please.”

“I'm sorry I kicked you out last night…it was childish. I wanted to take it back right after I said it but I didn’t want to back down.”

“You were angry, I was angry; it was probably for the best. It’s not for the best tonight.”

“Is your back OK?” she put her hand on his chest.

“Yeah. Nothing that a couple of Aleve and an Icy Hot patch couldn’t handle. I'm fine, how are you?” he kissed her nose.

“I'm frustrated.”

“Wanna watch something that always makes you laugh?”

“You said you needed to shower.” Liv said.

Ed smiled. She was reeling him in, making sure she was his top priority. This wasn’t trickery, it was something people did when they’d never quite been loved right before. He'd done it more than once in his life. If Olivia needed this reassurance than Ed would give it to her.

“I do, but I won't be in there forever. We can have a nice evening snack; there are some muffins in the kitchen. You can finish your wine and we can laugh together. What do you say?”

“I have at least 6 hours of _The New Adventures of Old Christine_ on the DVR.”

“You really love that show.”

“I do.” Liv nodded.

“So I’ll hop in the shower, we’ll have some tea and maybe a coffee cake muffin, and just decompress. I think that might be nice.”

“Me too.”

“Kiss.”

Liv nodded, closing her eyes as she leaned in. She had been really angry with him, last night and today in particular, but the anger was misplaced. It wasn’t always easy for her to say she was wrong, even though Ed shared some of the blame as well. Like the case she just finished working on, no one was walking away without some dust on their shoulders from the avalanche. Better she and Ed come up for air right now. Stealing another kiss, Liv took his face in her hands.

“I'm looking forward to a quiet night with my Teddy bear.” She said.

“It sounds like the perfect plan. My shower shouldn’t be more than 15 minutes.”

“And I’ll put the water on for some tea.”

Ed smiled as he got up from the couch. This time there was a little pep in his step as he went into the bedroom. He was glad that Liv had spoken up and ended the stalemate. He was going to try to do it tonight, he didn’t like them being upset with each other and he definitely didn’t like sleeping on an air mattress. But her coming to him, expressing her feelings, was a good thing. 

He knew it wasn’t just the case, she was also worried about Noah’s future. They had a long time before college even entered their minds. Ed didn’t want Liv mapping out the boy’s entire life before he even started school. He didn’t want her investing and sacrificing so much of herself for his education that sleeping with a cretin like Metcalf actually seemed like a viable option somewhere down the line.

***


End file.
